Monday, May 16, 2011

New Beginnings: The REAL me.

Not sure what I'll do with this blog, but I've started at the new one with my last post.

...constantly evolving. that's me.

Monday, May 9, 2011

Running with Patience!

In March 2009 I began to feel more and more pressure to seek purpose for my life. I was a month away from turning 24, and perhaps at the beginning of what my friends have described as the "quarter-life crisis". Looking back at my journal entries from that time, I literally struggled with this for two years! I say "struggle" because I had no idea how to conquer what I felt was a battle between life and death. Each day that I wasn't in "purpose," I felt like I was experiencing a slow death. I wanted to live! After many hours of prayer, counsel and silent reflection (2 years worth...) I finally made the decision to step out on faith and live! If you've been reading my blog for the past few months, you already know this; but I recently had a revelation on how to tackle my next steps.

I attend an awesome, spirit-filled church in Brooklyn and the pastor recently preached about patience. He relayed the story of the Israelites' impatience when Moses was on the mountain with God for 40 days. In their impatience, they created a golden calf to worship rather than waiting on what Moses would have to tell them when he returned (Exodus 32: 1-8). During the sermon, the pastor referenced a verse in Hebrews and said that we shouldn't idly wait on God, but should "run with patience" when we are awaiting a word from Him. My revelation was that I should continue to go forward with my plans, and know that God will let me know in His timing (not mine) if I am in His will. If this entrepreneurial venture that I am working on is not truly His will, it will not succeed. But I shouldn't be afraid to go forward with it in the meantime (the patiently-waiting-time). In the process of navigating this idea and trying to make it come to fruition, He is molding me for what He has in store for me. Either way, it's not in vain! For example, Joseph was sold into slavery by his brothers, but every experience or misfortune was molding him for who would become. When he was reunited with his brothers after many years, they fell at his feet and begged for his forgiveness, but Joseph said, "You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives." [Genesis 50: 20 NIV]*

But, I want to get back to that verse from Hebrews. For context, Hebrews 12:1-3 states the following:
 1 Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, 2 fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. 3 Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.  [NIV, 2011]
This version says "perseverance" rather than "patience," so in my quest to find the version that says "patience" (the King James Version) I came across a couple more interpretations:

"run with endurance" [NLT]
"run with patient endurance" [Amplified]

For even more context, below are some definitions:
patience: an ability or willingness to suppress restlessness or annoyance when confronted with delay
endurance: the ability or strength to continue or last, especially despite fatigue, stress, or other adverse conditions; stamina
perseverance: steady persistence in a course of action, a purpose, a state, etc., especially in spite of difficulties, obstacles, or discouragement
My personal favorite is "perseverance" because the definition has the word "purpose" in it. Each and every one of us has a specific purpose. Some know it at 10-years-old, but that does not mean these individuals will not face obstacles while progressing toward their purpose. In the end, we have to be patient and wait on God's timing, we must build endurance so we can continue to run even when we "just don't feel like it," and persevere in spite of obstacles. The Message version sums this up perfectly: we must "start running - and never quit."

Every experience is continually building us up to become the person we were meant to be from the very beginning of time. Let's not allow setbacks or apparent failure prevent us from "running with patience!"

*Joseph's entire story is relayed in Genesis 37-50

Friday, April 29, 2011

Finding Focus, Part II

A couple weeks ago I wrote about finding focus in my life. I have so much I want to accomplish, but I  need to tackle one thing at a time to really make an impact. Yet, even after writing that post, distractions got the best of me and kept me from doing any real work. I was in a church play that ended on Easter, so the rehearsal and performance schedule took up a bit of my time. However, it didn't take up ALL of my time, so what did I do with the rest of it? Well, for one, I worked out pretty much everyday. While that's good and will get me to my goal weight of 105 lbs, it won't write a business plan!

So I know what I have to do: eliminate distractions! If I'm going to launch this venture by the end of the summer, I have to let the non-essentials go. I have to become a producer, not a consumer. That means the television must stay off (sorry Housewives, but the drama must be shut out!). It also means I must make progress each and EVERY day.

To keep me honest, I'm going to post my goals for the next three months here. On August 1st, I'm going to come back to this post and see where I am. Of course I'll update you along the way, and I'll admit I need support! The days are long, yet time is short and I must keep my motivation up! Feel free to join me on this journey with your 3-month goals, we'll encourage each other!

May - July Goals:
1. Lose 15 lbs to finally weigh 105 lbs again :)
2. Complete my business plan and launch my entrepreneurial venture
3. Run three 5Ks

My main goal to accomplish is to launch this venture. The other two are extremely important to me and will simply become a part of my daily routine. Let's go!

Wednesday, April 13, 2011


Today, I dare you to take your greatest insecurity and flip it on its head. The title of the post is "I AM ADEQUATE" because for the longest I didn't think I was good enough. I was either too short, not smart enough (or too smart), too [insert insecurity here]. Then on a flight home this past January, I heard "something" say, "You are enough". To me, that meant that I am adequate for God's plan for me. He created me exactly as I am, and I am fully sufficient to do His will. Any skill that I lack to complete any task, He will supply. As a reference, when Moses was called to be the leader of the Israelites' exodus from Egypt, he told God that he wasn't fit to complete the task (Exodus 3:11 NIV). But, God already knew Moses' limitations before He called him to be the leader. He was adequate for God's plan for him.

When I arrived home that January day, I went directly over to my dry erase board and wrote in all caps, I AM ADEQUATE. That way, each time I entered my room I would read those words and remind myself that I am enough. Insecurities only have control if we allow them to limit our potential. Eleanor Roosevelt said, "no one can make you feel inferior without your consent." Let's stop giving our insecurities the consent to make us feel inferior as well.

Wednesday, April 6, 2011


Notable quotes from Dr. Cornel West:

"To be a Christian is to live dangerously, honestly, freely - to step in the name of love as if you may land on nothing, yet to keep on stepping because the something that sustains you no empire can give you and no empire can take away."

"America was a corporation before it was a country"